FAFO

I don’t know if you, like me, were puzzled by the comment made by U.S. Defence Secretary Peter Hegseth in explaining — justifying? — the snatching of Nicolás Maduro.  ‘He effed around and he found out’.  This is a common enough colloquial expression in the U.S., common enough for Hegseth to assume that the assembled journalists knew what he meant. The phrase is the equivalent of the old-fashioned you reap what you sow or actions have consequences.  There are various suggestions as to its origin ranging from motorcycle gangs to far right groups such as The Proud Boys, but there is general agreement that around 2020 it became extremely popular.

This is now an acronym — FAFO [fuck around and find out].  The acronym can be used as a threatening interjection.  It can be used as an adjective.  Apparently FAFO parenting involves not arguing with your child but saying ok, go ahead, do whatever ridiculous thing you want to do and find out for yourself that it doesn’t work. This is reserved for mild mishaps and discomforts, not actual danger, and is contrasted with gentle parenting which is driving some grandparents up the wall.  The word of warning from the experts is that when children discover that their parents are prepared to let them suffer (e.g. shiver with cold because they refused to wear a jacket) it can damage the parent/child bond of trust.